Oh no don't eat this shit!

Today in the spirt of the Holidays I'm going to name the top ten food sins. These are the foods no one should ever eat!

10. Mushrooms
How in the hell could anyone eat anything that resembles brain slices? Really they are all squishy in your mouth it's really gross. Plus how could you eat fried whole pieces. I find this very gross.

9. Canned Vegetables I find the idea of vegetables quite appealing. However when they are floating in a liquid that resembles human piss it is revolting. Please people don't be cheap buy frozen. You'll thank me later.

8. Bologna
Anyone who is over the age of five and eats this stuff please run outside and stand and wait for a car to run over you. I think that sums it up, you all know why this shit is nasty so why buy it and even worse why force it upon your children who you say you love. Is this some sort of sick revenge because your parents did it to you?

7. Lunch Meat with green and yellow things in it
Even worse than number 8 is that lunch meat that comes with pickles or olives or cheese or whatever the package says. This is very unnatural and very sick. The idea of meat (if you can call it that) with who knows what packaged with it. Come on everyone you know better.

6. Hot Dogs with cheese in them
Okay Hot Dogs in general are gross and I admit I've eaten those sick things. So what is with the ones that come with cheese are you to lazy to put cheese on it? This food is repulsive if you cut it open and look at it. PLEASE JUST SAY NO!

5. Raw Fish
I could be naive on this one but someone please explain how this is healthy? The idea of uncooked meat or little eggs that look like mice shit in my mouth that is enough right there to give me food poisoning.

4. Odd Animal Parts
So, I don't eat meat but there is still something stomach turning to most about the idea of eating cow tongue or eyeballs and lets not forget to mention the male organ some eat. These things aren't normal not in the US so just throw them away we waste everything so lets keep with it and not eat odd animal parts

3. Yams
Whether you call them Yams or Sweet Potato's it really doesn't matter they should just refer to this food as trash. I find this orange potato to be a major disappointment. We have wonderful spuds to choose from so why settle for the freak of the family? P.S. everyone don't think Sweet Potato Casserole is something we enjoy. Marshmallows and Potatoes what drugs
were you on? Give me some and I'll probably run for President, win the Lotto and eat this shit. Come on this should only be eaten in a need food or die situation it should never be a choice.

2. Mayonnaise
What Fattie came up with this big jar of lard and made everyone think it's socially acceptable to want this shit. Then to eat it in public?! My first job ever I worked at Wendy's and when people ordered extra mayo, I would try to put so much on that they would never want to eat it again. America your fat because of the Mayo not even Light Mayo is healthy just throw it up if you ingests it. Stick your fat finger down your mouth. You'll thank me in the morning when your ass looks less fat.

1. Pork Rinds
Yes we come to an end Pork Rinds. Pork Rinds must have been invented by some football, redneck fan on crack. I think they can sum up what's wrong with the world; We search for junk food at cheap prices. I wouldn't even feed this shit to my dogs. What's even worse is that we now have wonderful microwavable pork rinds? They pop up when you cook them. They come in spicy too. How nice - lets over-process something that is already gross and stink up the work places. Right now I'm passing a Law that if you catch anyone with Pork Rinds please do them the favor of ending their life.

Thank You!

Next to come: Top Ten Dishes to eat in Columbia, Mo! It's time I tell these people where to eat and what to order.