TODAY'S DIET

will be BEER BEER AND MORE BEER

everyone have a great New Year's and stick around to read about mine...

hehehe.. I'm selfish.

Oh no don't eat this shit!

Today in the spirt of the Holidays I'm going to name the top ten food sins. These are the foods no one should ever eat!

10. Mushrooms
How in the hell could anyone eat anything that resembles brain slices? Really they are all squishy in your mouth it's really gross. Plus how could you eat fried whole pieces. I find this very gross.

9. Canned Vegetables I find the idea of vegetables quite appealing. However when they are floating in a liquid that resembles human piss it is revolting. Please people don't be cheap buy frozen. You'll thank me later.

8. Bologna
Anyone who is over the age of five and eats this stuff please run outside and stand and wait for a car to run over you. I think that sums it up, you all know why this shit is nasty so why buy it and even worse why force it upon your children who you say you love. Is this some sort of sick revenge because your parents did it to you?

7. Lunch Meat with green and yellow things in it
Even worse than number 8 is that lunch meat that comes with pickles or olives or cheese or whatever the package says. This is very unnatural and very sick. The idea of meat (if you can call it that) with who knows what packaged with it. Come on everyone you know better.

6. Hot Dogs with cheese in them
Okay Hot Dogs in general are gross and I admit I've eaten those sick things. So what is with the ones that come with cheese are you to lazy to put cheese on it? This food is repulsive if you cut it open and look at it. PLEASE JUST SAY NO!

5. Raw Fish
I could be naive on this one but someone please explain how this is healthy? The idea of uncooked meat or little eggs that look like mice shit in my mouth that is enough right there to give me food poisoning.

4. Odd Animal Parts
So, I don't eat meat but there is still something stomach turning to most about the idea of eating cow tongue or eyeballs and lets not forget to mention the male organ some eat. These things aren't normal not in the US so just throw them away we waste everything so lets keep with it and not eat odd animal parts

3. Yams
Whether you call them Yams or Sweet Potato's it really doesn't matter they should just refer to this food as trash. I find this orange potato to be a major disappointment. We have wonderful spuds to choose from so why settle for the freak of the family? P.S. everyone don't think Sweet Potato Casserole is something we enjoy. Marshmallows and Potatoes what drugs
were you on? Give me some and I'll probably run for President, win the Lotto and eat this shit. Come on this should only be eaten in a need food or die situation it should never be a choice.

2. Mayonnaise
What Fattie came up with this big jar of lard and made everyone think it's socially acceptable to want this shit. Then to eat it in public?! My first job ever I worked at Wendy's and when people ordered extra mayo, I would try to put so much on that they would never want to eat it again. America your fat because of the Mayo not even Light Mayo is healthy just throw it up if you ingests it. Stick your fat finger down your mouth. You'll thank me in the morning when your ass looks less fat.

1. Pork Rinds
Yes we come to an end Pork Rinds. Pork Rinds must have been invented by some football, redneck fan on crack. I think they can sum up what's wrong with the world; We search for junk food at cheap prices. I wouldn't even feed this shit to my dogs. What's even worse is that we now have wonderful microwavable pork rinds? They pop up when you cook them. They come in spicy too. How nice - lets over-process something that is already gross and stink up the work places. Right now I'm passing a Law that if you catch anyone with Pork Rinds please do them the favor of ending their life.

Thank You!

Next to come: Top Ten Dishes to eat in Columbia, Mo! It's time I tell these people where to eat and what to order.

Here is the break down of top ten junk foods

This blog is not being grammar policed so just deal.

10. Caramellos
Nothing starts of the list like caramel (which can't be hard must be creamy) and Chocolate

9. Snickers
Isn't this everyone's favorite?!

8. Twizzlers
I love to eat this with Root Beer... I wonder how it would go with Bud Light?

7. Boston Cream Pie
Oh buy it at the store or get someone to make it for you. Either way I'm coming over to steal it.

6. Pizza
Sub Category best pizza in Columbia (top 5)
5. Imos
4. Pizza Hut
3. Gumby's
2. Italian Village
1. Shakespeare's
Can't go wrong with Pizza especially good veggie shit.

5. Ice Cream
As you'll see below my top ten Ice Creams. I'm kind of on a break with this stuff it tends to make me feel fat.

4. Breadsticks
If anyone knows me they know how I crave this shit. It's either Pokey Sticks or Pizza Hut. Really it's healthy I swear. Bread (it's a grain group) Cheese (Dairy, DUH!) Maranaria (Veggie Group or would Tomato be fruit?) I think I know what I'm having for dinner

3. Movie Theater Popcorn
I will drive to the Hollywood 14 walk in and get this shit to go. Haven't they learned of a drive thru yet?

2. Chips n' Salsa
I love this shit with cheese. Maybe I'm half Latin with the way I want to eat it. It goes great with beer.

1. Kettle Corn
This is suck a rare treat for me. To eat the stuff that you see them make not that shit you can buy at the store. When it's warm oh my I think I busted my pants thinking about it.

That is the All Time Top Ten Junk Foods of all time, subject to change depending on my cravings.

Jason this blog is for you!

Top Ten Ice Cream Flavors

10. Vanilla with black flecks in it
9. Ben and Jerry's chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
8. Eddy's Peanut Butter Cup
7. Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby
6. Basken Robbins Mint chocolate Ship
5. Basken Robbins chocolate Chip
4. Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia
3. Central Dairy chocolate Mousse
2. Ben and Jerry's Half Baked
1. Ben and Jerry's chocolate Fudge Brownie

See, I eat junk food to. Next will be my all time top ten Junk Food list.

Please feel free to list your top ten Ice Creams!

Well, Last night I went to Flat Branch, I eat their way to much. It is always pretty good, and this time was no exception. First Jon and I where seated near the smoking section. It was no biggie since the smokers weren't smoking. I new what I wanted right away but, I still looked at the menu. I found out they have new menu's and I don't just mean reprinted but, new items. I was so happy my pants got all wet. Well, Jon ordered some sort of new pizza they had. I had roma tomato and garlic (I asked for no mushrooms!) with mozzarella instead of goat cheese. There is just something about goat cheese that grosses me out, maybe it's they taste and the slimmy factor?! Well, we also ordered french fries to start.

Jons pizza was new and weird, really strong herbs where used. It was okayish. I would never order it on my own. It did have an amazing tomato taste that was mmm.. I'm getting so hungry thinking about it.

Boy did those get woofed down. The waitress (Amanda) never let my water glass get empty, she was amazing. I also ordered extra pesto sauce and it was thick this time. Everything was perfect. This is the best service I have ever had. One, of the best trips to Flat Branch!

I have to go back again tonight left my shoulder bag! FUCK!

Everyone I have died. I haven't been able to eat food in over a month.

No I'm kidding.

I'll have some sparkling reviews for you all soon.

First I must say.
I'm very upset with Quinn Snyder for the crap he is pulling. If he is. It's bullshit to pay these college people just to win. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

My whole world has been falling apart lately.
With Quinn, work is crazy, in a wedding, Christmas shopping I think I need a beer.

I haven't been out in about three weeks. I'm losing my mind.

My reviews to come are Bancok Gardens, Step Mom's thanksgiving, Wedding food, and mmmm I-Hop

Okay, I guess it's not fair to make you wait.

Last night around 8 I went to the "hop" and ordered scrambled eggs with cheese and pancakes. My lovely dining partner Jon ordered some gross thing that I don't like. Jon please fill in what you thought. His had mushrooms and eggs yuck. So this waitress sucked some mean dick. I mean she couldn't leave me alone for fucking five min. To think about what I wanted. So, finally this fucking fatty waitress brought my food. I thought I had ordered eggs with cheese not cheese with eggs! I've never had eggs so grossly cooked before. I could puke right now thinking about it. OH god the horror. Jon woofed his down before I got a bite but, I did steal his griddle cake! So, as we are fishing up this lady came in with a voice that would give Fran Dresher a run for her money. Oh was it hard to eat when she was complaining about the snow. Yeah everyone in snowed move the fuck on. So I soaked my pancakes with strawberry stuff... mmmm.. Tasty. I woofed it down so fast due to this ladies fucking voice.

Over all I would say I-Hop was pretty normal. Stupid people, food was blah, price was good. I would go their again. and you should love the "hop" too.

Now, as I said I'm in a hurry oh I didn't well you fuckers should've known that.

I heard Jason was missing my reviews so here you go that was for you.

Enjoy!