Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Well, Kids I have been busy to busy to eat so sorry there isn't much to update.

Tuesday 11/18/03
I know this one is a about a week old but, it still counts damn it. So, on this lovely day Jon and I went to El Maguey's. We started with eating a large amount of chips. I was informed at this point that Jon's friend Mike puts huge amounts or salt on his chips. I must say I advise against this to anyone who is thinking of trying this. Salt is not something to fool around with. It will make open soars on the corners of your mouth if you try to eat to fast. Just say no to the salt on the chips. Okay, I feel much better that was really bothering me. Some times you just have to vent when it comes to food. If you have anything you feel needs venting I'll eat and then vent all the bad feelings right out. I promise on the holy Betty Crocker Cookbook.

Now, back to my Lunch at El Maguey's. We where seated in a corner (yes) and the fatty waiter came over. I didn't know what to get, so it took me a while. Jon ordered something with eggs and hot sauce, which sounded puk-a-rific. I ordered a pork burrito minus the pork, so it just had veggies. I also asked for no goat cheese. I think asked the man about the rice. Jon kept saying "does the rice have animal lard on it?" I was much more refined and asked them man "Does the rice have animal products on it?" Either way he didn't understand so I said " Do you put animal fat on the rice?" He understood that and said "No" So, I then had a side of rice too. Everything was wonderful but, Jon was getting a Negro Medla and I wanted a Margarita so he went to get my ID. I waited my food was brought to me. I poke at it once, and then I cut it a little. Holy Fuck they thought I wanted Pork ONLY. I was about to puke. I pushed my plate away and waited. I waited for what seem like the time it takes to fall asleep after you just woke up and ran a mile. The Fatty came back. I explained no meat I don't eat meat I just wanted the vegetables. He and I where having what you call a..a... ah, yes a communication problem. So, he called in for re-enforcements. Then came over this gentleman with silver caps over his teeth. I couldn't stop staring and wondering how he polished these. Finally after bout 10 minutes with silver cap they realized what I wanted. So, I explained that I wanted veggie's only and no goat cheese. He (silver cap) said it's just white cheese and he didn't know what kind. This was alarming that they new so little about the food, so I asked for it on the side. The fatty seemed pissed and mad that I didn't want to eat that pork thingy. God it looked like something my dog craps out. He then threw the plate in the gray buckets that they have. He was more of a Drama Queen that Susan Lucci. Two seconds later he went back to that plate removed the fork and ate the food. How gross not only is he eating something my dog crapped out but think of the germs. I was so upset by this event that UN folded in front of me that I went to the ladies room. In the ladies room (if you can call it that) the floor was wet all over. You had to hold your breath out of the fear of breathing in some sort of chemical concoction they made in there. Some how the pictures had water stains and were discolored. The all had a blue tint about the same hue as toilet bowl flushers. The first stall someone had taken a massive shit and some how missed the bowl. I'm starting to think that the fatty is really a woman. After such a disturbing experience I come back to the table to see Jon with his food and beer. His food had re-fried beans. He had made it clear (or so we thought) no beans. So they took it back and brought out my new food and his non-bean food. I told Jon about the pork and all about the bathroom. Ahh thank God my Magrittia is finally here and boy did I need it. I ordered the 27oz. one and it's was so yummy. Jon's food is cold and not hot or spicy. Mine isn't too bad but as we are eating and talking about how it would be funny if you could leave negative tips because the serves was so bad. As we sit and laugh about the serves and enjoying are drinks a thought crosses are minds. "Did he really tell us the truth about the rice? Maybe he didn't understand. NO" So, we stopped eating the rice. Further investagtions is needed and my stomach can't handle the truth at this point in time.

Over all I would say what a let down. I can't even explain how bad the service was or, the horror of the bathroom. It seemed just like a nightmare that would never end.

Well, I'm really hungry and I'll add more lately. I will be reviewing my Step Mom's Veggie thanksgiving for all of those who are can't wait for another one check back on Friday.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Lets, just get right to it. Okay?

Friday 11/14/03
I went home and had beer and Italian Village pizza. Now, I love their pizza, I really do. It was very good. Sometimes the artichokes make the pizza soggy but on this night it wasn't the case. Well, after dinner and beer I went out with Lindsay and Lisa. This night was a bit ridiculous. I made a very big decision: From Friday on I wouldn't put up with any shit from those frat guys. I'm going to get that mace that Sal told me about and if anyone calls me a cunt again that is what they get. Other than that event the night was good. After we left Eastside Tavern and the Ramada Inn parking lot, McDonalds sounded excellent. My stomach was a little upset at this point and I thought food was the answer. Isn't it always?

Well, about 6 o'clock in the morning I woke up with the worst stomach pains ever. It was... the pizza. I was sick all of Saturday. Not good!

Saturday 11/15/03
So I was sick. Oh what fun times. So, Jon helped out a great deal on my day of illness. He and I bopped over to the Olive Garden (warning this review is not for the PG crowd) for dinner. First we give our names. I spot some seats in the packed with people waiting area! Right on. It was really crowded and I was happy to sit down, what with the stomach cramps I'd been having. Little did I know that we would be graced by a celebrity. Yes, we fucking had one sitting right next to us. I didn't know Harry Potter was real until that moment. I felt so blessed. Kid was obsessed. Right down the striped shirt and everything. Well, after the rug rat left, the ugliest people started pouring in. This one hostess had on the most god awful watch I had ever seen. When I saw this pink, rhinestoned square that took up about half of her lower arm, I almost bolted. Really if the people make you gag, what is the food going to do? I already wasn't 100% food ready. After what seemed like an eternity, we were seated. The table was good, small and in the corner. Little did I know some psycho girl would be staring at me through at the whole dinner. When I go out to eat I didn't know it was so others could watch. She was really creepy but, I'll get into more about her later. My first notice is damn, it's fucking cold! Good thing I wore a shirt, sweater and a Men's Navy pea coat. I had my little green thumb monster to entertain me while this waitress tried to figure out if she should help us. It was so nice and wonderful when she finally came over. I was thirsty and wanted my damn water. We ordered. We waited, and waited. Finally Breadsticks show up! Only three though, what do I look like an anorexia case? I want to fucking eat and I want to now! She also decided to ruin my day by informing me that they were making fresh salad and it would be a moment. So I eat my one bread stick (because Jon was more hungry than me) and waited. Finally the salad! I start serving it out to Jon and then myself, We unroll the silverware and to our surprise, dinner is here. WHAT THE FUCK! Salad and dinner at the same time! How, How? Damn, lets just say I'm pissed. That is putting it nicely. So, I eat the salad- not bad. She brings back more breadsticks. I take a bite of my orginal breadstick and it tasted of pure garlic and seasoning. My mouth thought for a moment I played a mean trick and that there wasn't bread. All I tasted was grainy seasonings. Right when this happened it burned my mouth. I was unaware that over flavoring of garlic and who knows what else burned your mouth. Where in this hell was my warning label? So, I finally start into my Pasta and tomato dish. I am noticing at this point and so is my thumb monster that this annoying girl keeps watching me eat. Every time I look up she is staring. At this point she is now smiling at me! What the fuck is wrong with her? Do, I have a horn on my head or something? Really, lady you are ruining my mood. My reaction to the first bite of pasta is "oh my god they serve this to people, and want them to like it". At this point the Salad is the best thing. Remember, it is fresh. So, I give my self another plate of salad. By this time it's the bottom of the bowl. Much to my surprise fresh salad seems to mean brown, old lettuce at the Olive Garden. That is good to know next time, I'll ask for the old stuff and see what happens. So, the breadsticks are a wash and so is the salad. Back to the pasta. With each bite it slowly begins to taste a little better. It's growing on me, kinda like mold grows on cheese. This lady who is our waitress is horrible when it comes to refilling my water. I finally take all I can get of this meal, it's time to go. At, this point I have all of the buttons on my coat buttoned and I notice if hell is the hottest place imaginable, then Olive Garden is the complete opposite of hell. It was North Pole in there. The waitress brings the check. The staring girl is still staring. My thumb monster is ready to go and I don't blame him. I grab an Andes Mint and take a moment to notice the best food of that night was the fucking mint. The place was loud, full of fools in black and gold with cat ears, temparture was bad, wait staff was revolting... Overall I would say it sucked. It was one of those dinners where all you do is laugh.

Sunday 11/16/03
No, this doesn't deserve a full review but, here we go. At the Mall Christmas shopping. Oh joy! Nothing puts you in the spirit than the Olive Garden rejects and their idea that they can run you over! This day was wonderful. Still, not 100% as far as the stomach goes and I have people thinking that we are reenacting Days of Thunder. So, after lots of diving I was hungry. What a surprise. I saw the cookie place, Great American Cookie. First my mom's are better, so there. Second I notice they don't have a nutrition fact sheet (but, do I really want to know) Third, on of the displays of they wonderful cute and edible cakes they make is a pig, can you guess what the pig is eating? Time's up, it is saying pig out! Doesn't that really make you want to eat it? It is taunting me telling me I will becoming fat just like the others in line. I say fuck the pig, fuck them all and I order a double doozie. Now, I know your asking "What in the world is a double doozie?" Well, pull your panties out I was just getting to that. A double doozie is two large cookies filled with frosting. I ordered a chocolate chip one. It was good and tasty. The soda I had (I know slap my hand, soda = bad) the girl (yes, girl because anyone this stupid can't be a women) filled my cup to the top with crushed ice. Do you know what happens when you fill a soda cup to the top with crushed ice then put Coke in? You don't? Well you get two sips of coke out of a medium drink, isn't that fun? Over all I would say don't get sodas at the cookie place, don't date the workers at the cookie place, it is best if we all just stick to the cookies at the cookie place.

Crap, now I have that song "who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" stuck in my head. Today will be long, I can tell but, rewarding I have potatos at home.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Well, my little cupcakes it's been a couple of days are you hungry to hear what I have to say. Oh of course you are.

Tuesday 11/11/03
This day started off normal. Work, comomusic, work then school. I had a test that I thought I would fail. My thoughts now are that I did wonderful. So, to celebrate this wonderful thought of doing well on my test, Jon and I went to Pizza Hut, the one on Clark lane. I ordered for us both. We had a Veggie deep dish minus the black olives. See, way back when I had my gallbladder I would get sick if I ate cheese or black olives. You can just imagine the tragedy if I ate them at the same time! Watch Out! So, back to the food, I also ordered breadsticks. I ate so many of them I thought I was going to die. What made this dinning experience all the more special was that the waitress treated me like a child. It was really funny. Then I was scared for my life when the thug employee's started blasting some beats. I had to run for my life out of there. Over all it was a good food and scared for my life atmosphere.

Wednesday 11/12/03
For this wonderful evening I drank for the first time in 6 Days. I went to Buffalo Wild Wings. The potato wedges and onion rings where so good they where to die for. I ordered it with Medium sauce and ranch. I like hot and spicy but to me that is medium. One thing I have notices is the Bud Light tastes so good here. It was brought to my attention that it's probably because it came in real glasses. Finished the food and beer so, we trotted over to TP's on Rangeline for some laugh's and free popcorn. I had one more beer and popcorn. The beer was good Bud Light in a bottle. The popcorn however was black and cold. Those are two things I never what to see when it comes to popcorn. It was like eating blackened, rotting teeth. Something you just don't want to do.
Later, when I got home and made some good popcorn and finished my new movies Serendipity with John Cusak. Then off to bed and start dreaming of dinner for tonight.

It's almost time for dinner so I better wrap this up. Talk to you all later.

Monday, November 10, 2003

In light of recent events. FACE TO FACE breaking up I will be fasting for the rest of today.

Please feel free to mourn this great musical loss with me.

Friday 11/7/03
Lets see, Oh yes. I was sick on Friday so I stayed at home and rented movies. I rented Charlie's Angels II and Gacy. Gacy was a scary scary movie. It really freaked me out. He ended up having 29 bodys under his house and four he threw in the river. He took advantage of and molested over 2000 young boys. Good, thing I ate before I saw this flick. There was scenes with maggots and crawling bugs... YUCK.

My feast on this moviefest was Gumby's Pokey sticks. This time I had a larger order and boy did I pack that shit away. They didn't give me my extra ranch, though. FUCK. Despite that trauma, it was still enjoyable. I noticed, however, three days in a row of Pokey sticks makes your tummy grumbly. All in all good food once again.

Saturday 11/8/03
For this day it was my 6 year friend Anniversary with Jon. We've always done stuff on this date to celebrate our friendship. So, to start the celebration, we headed over to Flat Branch, one of our all time favorites. He had pizza. I had pizza but to start we had pub fries. I really packed those away. They where lightly seasoned fries with ranch dressing. They where to die for. As, I said earlier we both had pizza. I don't remember what kind he had but, I'm sure it had mushrooms. If you have been reading this then you know how I feel about mushrooms (brain slices). One word yuck. So, I had the pizza that had pesto sauce, roma tomoatoes, and garlic. I subbed mozerella for goat cheese. I find goat cheese to be slimy, I think I would rather eat a whole jar of mushrooms than goat cheese. I find it to be vile. When they brought out my pizza it had extra big garlic chunks. It was so good. I ended up only eating one slice because I was so full from the fries. So, I took it to go. I must also take this time to say Flat Branch use to have the best smelling soap. For some reason they changed it. I know this a tragedy so if anyone can fix it please let me know. The place was very clean but cold when sitting over by the windows. So, watch out don't sit by the windows no matter how nice it is to stare at them while they make the pizza's.

Later that evening Jon and I went to Tellers for one beer and chocolate mousse for me. When I eat this mousse the whole world goes away. I could die will eating this and not even care. It's a wonder that I'm not a fattie with the way I can pack that shit away. It is truly a wonderful experience. I sugest you all try it.

Even later than on in that evening I bought some garlic herb cheese to go with Ritz crackers. It was very yummy the brand of this cheese is Aulette. I believe. It is a good 3:00 in the morning snack.

Sunday 11/9/03
I slept well over twelve hours so I was feeling pretty good. I didn't do my hair or make up so I was quite a sight. I had this wonderful pasta dish from Outback steak house I belive it's called wahala or some shit like that. Well, anyway it's fettucini with alfredo sauce that is spicy. It comes with snow peas, carrots, broccoli, and yellow squash. It was so good I stuffed my self silly. Oh, oops I forgot to mention the pumpernickel bread and the baked potato too. Oh my was it so good. I could die. Perfect date for me would be this for dinner and off to Tellers for the choclate moussee. Damn what a day it would be. The poato was a little on the small side but who am I to judge after I stuffed my face full. I still have left overs too!

Later that evening I had a large chocolate shake from Steak n' Shake. This made me long for Zip's or Zesto's. If anyone is aware of a good chocolate shake in Columbia, Please let me know. It was your normal shake nothing to write home about.

All this food talk is making me starve. I want some Kettle Corn Damn IT! If anyone knows where to get Kettle Corn please don't hold back. That shit isn't fair.

The Food blog is undergoing some design changes today. I'll be working on it throughout the day, and will post about this weekend's food when I'm done. Check back...

Friday, November 07, 2003

All, I have been doing since I last updated this is drinking. So, sorry I don't have very many food updates for you today.

Wednesday 11-5-03
I ordered some pokey sticks and went to eastside and I had those with some beer. The pokey sticks come from Gumby's they are like cheesy breadsticks if you didn't know. Well in the middle they where soggy. Which I found hard to eat since they where dripping with some sort of liquid. I swear they cheese was wet. I am guessing water or oil. Either way it doesn't sit well in my stomach. It did mix with the beer well. This guy at the bar brought some food in for BC and he sat next to me, well he smelled like food all night. I started thinking maybe this is what guys should do to attract me. Go cook something and come by I bet I'd like that. Oh and bring the food. That night was a total shit fest. I sat at eastside from 8-12 and didn't even get drunk. I didn't get home until 4 or 4:30 and then I had to get up at 6:30. God, what a waste of a night. But, at least the food was good.

Thursday 11-6-03
I went home took a shower had some popcorn and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So, it's about 8 o'clock and I'm bored so I head out. I went to Tropical Liquors at the downtown location. Had some popcorn and beer. Got hit on by some guy that is double my age. Then I hoped over to Shattered to meet Lindsay and Lisa. This is about nine o'clock. I had beers got hit on by more guys double my age. So, to cheer tummy and myself up I ordered some Gumby's Pokey sticks again. They where better this time. I ate about half of them. One thing I noticed at Eastside that is way different than Shattered is that they love food too. I think those guys sit around and talk about food more than girls, or at least when I am there. So, back to my pokey sticks. They got cold quick but I imagine that has something to do with the weather. I didn't think they drove down but maybe they did. I should've asked. Well, I didn't even finish those. I drank, and drank then went home. Another night just like all the others drink and creepy old guys hit on me. I am wondering what is wrong with this picture.

Well, tonight is going to be way different. It's already been determined. I will be ordering some sort of yummy food that I'll tell you about on Monday and renting movies. Awww I love the movies.. mmm... I'm getting hungry. Well, time to go make some popcorn.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Hello, Everyone. Listen, I went to Shattered on 10/29/03 and asked for my orange cosmo. The lesson learned is; don't go to non-martini places and ask for one. It tasted like pineapple, which makes me have drive heaves. Oh, I can still taste it. Despite the crappy taste, their effort to try and make it was nice. I will now stick to beer when at Shattered.

Friday, 10/31/03 I had two of the orange cosmos that are very yummy. I had those at Sapphire Lounge. Lesson learned once again: If I drink two of those and a couple of beers, I don't really remember much of what happened. The cosmos were very delicious. I find that the more I drink of these things and the more I go to the Sapphire Lounge the more I like it. It's also making me forget my chocolate mousse. I am taking this moment to say I now like Sapphire better than Tellers. Wait, Tellers does have that one quiet waiter or it did in May. Okay the jury is still out on which one is better.

I also was at eastside. I really think this place could benefit from popcorn. One pleasant surprise was when I walked into the girl's room on Wednesday, it smelled like flowers. It was really really nice. However, the smell and blue water was gone by Thursday. I think the lesson here is that this place gets 2000 flushes in a matter of days.

So Saturday I ordered some nice Italian Village pizza. It arrived to me in record time. I had a medium pizza with Spinach, Artichoke Hearts, Green Peppers, Onions, and Tomatoes. This pizza is to die for. Or at least in my world.

So, Sunday I was off to Quinton's with Lisa. I had never been here. I was excited to see a tree-huggers spud. Guess what? They where out of potatoes, how fucked is that? How the fuck do you run out of potatoes, they are cheap! I wasn't happy. So I ate salsa, chips and cheese. The cheese had that oh-so-gross layer of crust. The salsa, well, I have never seen salsa look that way. It was runny and chunky at the same time. But, despite the looks the food wasn't bad. I did, however, make the huge mistake of ordering an Orange Push. YUCKY- that sums it up. If I ever tasted girl juice I think that is how it would taste but, with pineapple thrown in. There was 100% no orange taste in it. Over all I don't think I'll be going here again.